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SATISFIED IN HIM


Satisfaction is a fulfilment of a need or desire. It is the pleasure obtained by such fulfilment.

Recently, I  decided to detach from every human relationship by which I sought satisfaction. It wasn't easy until an experience with someone. At that point I realised though I am a Christian and a lover of Christ, I wasn't  totally relying on Him.

I wondered if I trusted and loved God in a way that made me satisfied in Him.  I saw clearly that I had been busy with godly activities and was trying to get my satisfaction from all that. Note that I said I was trying to get my satisfaction from it, I never got it.

I was  exhausted from various activities which I thought I was doing for God. I expected Him to be satisfied by my many activities as I sought satisfaction in same. I was occupied with everything else such that I no longer knew Him and I thought that was all there was to a love relationship with the Father.

During that season, I desired true intimacy with God. One day, Mama Anne Emeka-Obiajunwa said on our discipleship group,
 It is possible to have a unique and intimate relationship with God
I longed for it. I longed to know the heart of my lover, I wanted to be satisfied with and in Him alone, I wanted every other person to come second, I wanted to be His lover and have him be my lover, one in whom I would be fulfilled and satisfied.

The bible says we we live, move and have our being in God. How was that going to become my true reality if I didn't know him intimately? I desperately wanted the father to occupy the throne of my heart and be my lover - one that would accept me for who I am, help me grow and would never give up on me.

Read: How to gain satisfaction

I PROPOSED TO THE FATHER

Although ladies are not supposed to propose here in Nigeria, I proposed to the Father. I asked Him out. Prior to that day, He had asked me out  and I said yes; but I was a selfish lover or no-lover to Him at all. Tired of my unfaithful self, this time I did the asking out,
Lord please be my lover, I want to be satisfied in you and by you, I want you to truly be my everything.
There I was in total submission and fully open to His love.  I went back to the scripture we were studying at The Birthplace Foundation, Songs of songs Chapter 2 and this time, I saw beyond the letters.





THROUGH THE EYES OF MY LOVER

Songs of songs 2 verse 2 (The Passion translation).
Yes, you are my darling companion. You stand out from all the rest. For though the curse of sin surrounds you, still you remain as pure as lily, even more than all others.

This verse reassured me that I made the right decision when I decided to let go everyone else so God can have the throne of my heart. 

My lover made me know that those times when I thought I was worthless because of my insecurities, sin and the the things I sort satisfaction from, I was wrong. My lover says that he sees me through the sweetness of love and mercy. He sees me as capable, He believes that I am unique. His arms were constantly open to accept me when everything seemed bad and people saw only the negative about me. He saw the light within that no one else could see.
This verse taught me about the depth and selfless love of the father. God was never going to give up on me because of Christ's sacrifice that makes me pure as lily before his eyes. He sees the best in me, when I don't see it. That is what a true companion, lover, and friend does!

HOW THE KNOWLEDGE OF MY LOVER’S INTENT MADE ME OPEN UP TO HIM

Song of Songs 2 verse 3-6 (The Passion translation). My beloved is to me the most fragrant apple tree he stands above the sons of men. Sitting under his grace- shadow, I blossom in his shade, enjoying the sweet taste of his pleasant, delicious fruit, resting with delight where his glory never fades. 
Suddenly, he transported me into his house of wine— he looked upon me with his unrelenting love divine. 
Revive me with your raisin cakes. Refresh me again with your apples. Help me and hold me, for I am lovesick! I am longing for more—yet how could I take more?
His left hand cradles my head while his right hand holds me close. I am at rest in this love.
As I read these verses, I could relate and with the Shulamite woman. If I  believe that He will never give up on me, I can easily open up to Him and allow Him help me. The Shulamite woman knew this and she opened up to the Lord and let Him in. She became hopeful and trusted Him with her situation, that's why she could follow Him into His house of wine- His house of worship. When she tasted how great it felt to just rest on Him, cast all her cares and worries on Him, she found rest!

And guess what? Just like me, she wanted more! The Love of God intoxicates.


HIS CRADLING ARMS


                                                    Song of Songs 2 verse 6
His left hand cradles my head, while his right hand holds me close. I am at rest in this love.

When I read this, I  literary felt God's hands on me and I fell asleep in the comfort of His arms. He cuddled me, whispering sweet things to my spirit. He professed his love for me.
I was reassured that He was the only satisfaction my soul needed.


WHAT I CONCLUDED ABOUT MY LOVER


My lover’s love is selfless. It is not controlling. A love relationship with Him is more of a partnership. His love is patient. His love is simply beautiful. The Lord is not only my lover but my companion, not only my Lord but my friend, not only my father but my comforter.

I am glad He has allowed me  to experience Him in different dimensions, especially as a lover. I love my lover, and I hope you all experience this love dimension 

With love 💕,

Kellar a lover of God, writer, public speaker and an English Language student of the prestigious Redeemer's University in Nigeria. You can send her a message via ladykellarusiayo at gmail dot com or click on her name above to connect on facebook.





Meanwhile, this post is an excerpt of our study at The Birthplace Foundation.

We are set to raise people who are aligned with God and we are doing that through discipleship. Below is 4 of 12 monthly guides by which we are fulfilling this mandate. If you are looking for a community to grow and wax strong in your spiritual life, I guarantee you, this is the place. Join here








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