Skip to main content

GOD IS KIND: The Courage of patience

It was a beautiful morning and yours truly was still bleeding.

 I just got done making breakfast and was about to set the table when I felt an extra weight down there.
I left the kitchen, washed my hands and sent it below while squatting. Men and brethren, see who fell off me. 

The 1cm Fibroid they said I should be operated for

A better view of the monster

My husband and I gave thanks. God had delivered me early. I took these photos as proofs of his kindness and as reminders that He is still with and for me, regardless. 

I became hopeful and patiently waited to conceive another. I can't deny  that I had several moments of sadness and weeping. My husband who wasn't moved by the situation became worried for my worry. He bought me things, took me out regularly and kept asking what he could do to make me happy. While I appreciated his efforts, they weren't enough to comfort my grieving soul. I had many, many days of sadness.  

January went by, so did February. In March 2020,  I conceived. I initially took a job because I wanted to forget my sorrow. That same March that I resumed, I conceived. I didn’t even know. It was my boss that told me, “you look pregnant”. I said, “amen.”

Got home and decided to do a test. Men and brethren it was positive. At this point, positive wasn’t a thing of joy in my home. Well to me, it wasn’t. I just wanted to hold a baby from my womb and my husband’s loins. 

Afraid of negative reports, we decided we weren’t going for scan to confirm if it’s viable. I also wasn’t interested in seeing any doctor as they didn’t help me in the other pregnancies. Besides, they said missed abortion doesn’t happen twice so this one must be viable. I carried on at work and in ministry while taking antenatal drugs. 

I came home from work on 15th June 2020 and started bleeding. This time, I didn’t cry. We decided to go for a scan and found that I had just lost a pregnancy.  I didn’t mourn expressively this time. 

We were in the middle of an online prayer meeting which I was hosting (The 50th hour tongues). I needed to focus on that. I didn’t have the time to sit and be sorry for myself. I showed up everyday, like nothing happened. However, The one thing that worried me most was how I was going to stand another evacuation. The last one terrified me, such that 2 years later, I physically shook when I remembered or had to talk about it.

The next day (June 16) was my niece-in-law’s birthday, she calls me mum and is technically my daughter. Everyone in my house thought she wasn’t going to have her birthday marked because they were expecting me to grieve expressively as I did for the other two losses. To their surprise, I got my little girl in the car and drove off for a photo shoot. It was her first birthday I wasn’t going to let the devil rob her of that joy. We had fun, got back home and had a private celebration for her. I was grieving for my child inwardly, but I didn’t think it was worth making the pretty girl miss her first birthday. Shame on you Satan, you didn’t touch me that deeply this time. 

We finally got an appointment for my evacuation. I insisted on being knocked out. The doctor had to agree when he saw me shaking like an earthquake descended. While unconscious, I had quite some experience. 

According to my husband, I was profusely confessing my love to christ and pledging my allegiance to him. I was crying while at it. I also said I could see my children, 3 of them and was asking for my niece in law too that she made them 4. I said several other things which he shared with me when I woke. 

I couldn’t remember seeing Jesus or seeing the other things I was loudly talking about, but I did remember seeing 3 children who came to me while I was unconscious and were comforting me. I saw a girl and two boys. The girl was older. 
I wondered why the girl was older because I was asking the Lord for twin boys to come before the girl. I believed God was going to answer my prayer that way. 

Life went on and I began radical faith confessions. I was determined that 2020 must be my year. Then in September, I did something radical. 

Kindly leave your comments and share the hope! 

Warm hugs



  1. May the Lord strengthen you ma, you're strong ma and reading this tonight made me realise that we are not strong in christ till our faith is tested and tried, I can't wait to read the ending ma. Much love from here


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

GOD IS KIND : The hurt of dissapointment

Sometimes you can't even ask why. Perhaps because you know everything doesn't quite lie in God's hands. Yet when it comes to things you have absolutely no control over, you are tempted to think it's in His hands. Even at that, you still can't ask why. Well maybe you can, but I can't.  I have had a good dose of pain and disappointment enough to separate my ideology of God from life's occurrences. Before life started giving me rude shocks, I used to think God will always protect me by preventing pain. As I grew older and met with more battles, I learnt to accept the part of God's protection which delivers  me from pain well after I have felt its excruciating bite and I came to this conclusion; God is and is forever kind. The earth is fallen; I may not be exempted from all its ugliness, but God will always be kind enough to deliver me if He doesn't prevent it.   By the time you will be reading this, I would have shared my testimony. While I hop

GOD IS KIND: The potency of trust

Read Part 4 here On this third day of praise, I felt like drinking Chinese tea. My praise jam was on already and I was reading my bible and making my confessions in preparation for my dance. I couldn’t shake off the urge to drink the tea. I made it and started sipping.  I started cramping badly. I was wondering why is this happening, I’ve had my period already. I don’t have endometriosis anymore. I will tell you how God delivered me from that one shortly.I continued my dance in pain. Before I knew it, I felt pressured below. I washed my hands and sent it there. Men and brethren, Look who came out . Both are the same fibroid. Picture 1: After I washed it. Picture 2: When it just fell out. I  felt different  emotions at once. One of which was fear. Ah God! What is this again? Are there more? What next? How long would this monster keep coming back? I summoned courage and resumed my praise. I gave my best dance that third day.  Shortly afterwards, my husband called. I didn’t know if I shou

GOD IS KIND: The emptiness of hope

Read part 1 here  In Lagos, I fell ill as soon as I landed. The city is crazy. The traffic is unholy and the carbon monoxide infested air is an extension of hell. I didn't want to get back on that road to any hospital so we got a qualified nurse to come treat me at home.  The Nurse said she couldn't treat me except I did a pregnancy test alongside malaria test. Both came out positive. I was glad that the sickness wasn't Lagos madness inspired. My baby must have wanted to notify me since I refused to take a second look. Unfortunately, she used one of those quinine brands  in attempt to protect the baby. She sadly didn't check with me first.  I became miserable from all the itching like one who hugged devil's beans. I tried to rest as much as I could and thoroughly enjoyed both my family and ministry itinerary while being pampered like an egg. I preached passionately at the event I was invited to. I talked about loving God and serving him devotedly even when disa