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So during your single days, everyone knew you were the “fire mama” in town. Your tongues were full vocabulary, your prayer life could burn devils a million metre away and you constantly heard God’s voice over anyone and anything.

A few years later, marriage happened and Gbam! Prayer life becomes “it was”, worship life becomes ho-hum and God’s voice becomes echoes of the past.

No Christian woman goes into marriage planning to neglect her relationship with God but this happens often. 

Many people plan the wedding, plan the perfect photography stunts, plan the how to keep my husband happy and locked in with me forever, how to make my kids the envy of town, how to be the hot mom (referring to body shape) before marriage. We often don’t remember to plan on how to keep our “love relationship” with God on the rise. 

Like the popular saying, “if you fail to plan; you plan to fail”.  This is true even for our intimacy with God after we bag the ring, the man and the kids.

Perhaps you’re feeling guilty about your relationship with God at this point, please take a deep breath. Guilt isn’t the objective of this post. Restoration is the goal. Therefore, receive this HUG from me while you read on.


How badly do you miss Him?                     

For me the person of Christ is the most fascinating personality of the God-head. I relate to Him like I would a physical spouse. I love on Him consciously and I literally miss Him whenever I let life come between us.
Getting back to your lovey-dovey days with God is totally dependent on how badly you want it. 

We make out time for our sugar or not so sugar husbands, our ever needy children and maybe a 9 to 5 Job by the corner. Most of these things, we do out of obligation not necessarily because we feel strong at the time nor are we always in the mood. For instance, you might have to wake up early to make breakfast for the children to take to school and your husband before he heads out. Most of those mornings you might feel really tired because you went to bed at 11:30 pm, woke up at 2:00 am to check on the children, didn’t go back to sleep till 4:30 am because hubby needed some “sexual healing” and bang its 5:15 am when you’ve got to get out of bed lest your children miss the school bus and your boss serves you a warning letter for being late. At those moments we are doing everything out of “duty” when what we really want is some more sleep.

We must pause to ask ourselves, do we really miss the Lord in all of this? If you miss him then treat your time with him as a duty. Speak with Him when it’s convenient or not. Meet with Him when you feel like it or not. 


I know you miss the time when you can wake up at a particular time and go stay with God in a particular place for hours as a single. ?However, you will never have that luxury in your everyday life as a wife and a mom with growing kids. Therefore you have to adjust to the new reality. Here are a few hacks you can use

·         If you’re a nursing mother, I understand you most likely would be feeling dizzy during the day because baby kept you up for most part of the night. 
üHACK: Turn baby sleep time to your “love time with God. You can talk to God for thirty minutes and sleep the other thirty while the baby is asleep. Don’t feel guilty that you’re wrapping your time with God around your baby. God doesn’t mind. He just desperately misses you too!

·         If you’re a stay at home mom, you are the hero of the family in my opinion. I know what it is to house clean, cook, do laundry from morning to evening not knowing that time has flown until the bell rings and someone is home!  People think stay at home mom are the lest on the valuable wives association but I think you are priceless. 
ü HACK: Get worship songs playing constantly on your phone or IPod or the stereo set in your house. Be informed that prayer has no posture. Therefore, you don’t have to be kneeling, lying down or somersaulting for God to hear your prayers. You can tongue while washing clothes, worship while cooking, listen for God’s voice and hold a descent conversation with Him while vacuuming or sweeping the house. Consider getting an audio bible on your phone or IPod so you can stay in touch with God’s word on the go. 
When I’m tired or really busy and need to read my bible, I turn on my audio bible “The Bible Experience” by TD jakes and a group of people. I really love that one because it’s got this sound effect that keeps you concentrating even if your mind wanted to wander off. 

Read: Top 15 Songs You need on your playlist

·     If you’re a “corporate” working mom, I can relate with office deadlines, the pressure of being great at work in other to climb up the co-operate ladder. However, I believe working moms can have a deep relationship with God too.
üHACK:  Turn lunch break into a date with God. I get that the cafeteria is noisy and people probably want to bring up unsolicited gist during lunch break. Why don’t you try using an ear piece to block off their voices while listening to your favourite sermon or worship song? 
And hey, you can tongue/discuss with God under your breath while eating. Who says you’re going to choke? You won’t. 
If you’re bothered about what people would say about you keeping to yourself most times during lunch, I might need to ask, “How badly do you miss him?”
Lunch time isn’t the only break you get during work. I’ve found that the toilet/convenience/restroom is a private space too. No one is going to fire you for using the rest room. So sometimes, you can take quick five to ten minutes off to hug and kiss the Lord in there. It’s very refreshing when you get off the work craze to meet with Him briefly.
If you drive, load your car with lots of messages, worship songs and audio bible for times when you drive home from work.

  • If you’re an “entrepreneur” mom, well I think you have more               opportunity to deepen your love with God that the others.
ü Hack:  If you can afford it, hire sales representatives so you can have some time for yourself. Then take breaks to feed your soul.  If you’re selling at the open market, you can read your bible right there and pray under your breath when no customer/client is in front of you. All you need is to remember that you really need this time out with God.

An intimate relationship with God is not really about how long we spend with Him is more about how constantly in touch we are with him. 

For instance, if your husband were to come around for one week and travel for two months without keeping in touch via phone or social media, would you feel as close if He kept in touch by calling often, maybe having brief Skype or Imo sessions with you? Definitely not.  

Love relationships thrive on communication. Sometimes you don’t even need to have what to say. Just holding the other person is enough. Same way, we don’t have to wait until we have something to say to God or until we have hours of free time to spend with Him. Those brief moments when we fix our mind on Him without necessarily doing the “long prayer” are required for deep intimacy with God.

I personally pause several times during the day to say “Hey Christ, I love you, I miss you. What’s up?” He often replies and I get back to work.

See babe, God has emotions too. He longs for us. He misses us. He wants to hold us in his arms during good and bad moments. It hurts him a lot when other things take preeminence over our time with Him.

When you start prioritizing your intimacy with God, you will have several moments when you might be tempted to procrastinate. This is when to remember that if you can’t procrastinate making meals, caring for your family and perhaps sex time with hubby? Then you shouldn’t procrastinate intimate moments with God.
Make up your mind to keep in touch with God when it’s convenient or not.
I understand that some women want to pray some more but just don’t know what to pray about. The Tamar’s Pouch Intercessory guide can be of help. It includes praying for yourself, hubby, the kids, in-laws, business, community and a whole lot. I put that together in 2014 and a whole lot of women say it’s been of great help. I’m pretty sure it will help you too. Click to Get it Here 
If you would like to know what Tamar’s Pouch is about, CLICK here or CLICK to Join Here on Facebook if you already know.

Love you sisters!!

Committed to your Fulfilment
Anne Atulaegwu 

Please join us at JTOW as we reach out to 300 women and children this Christmas


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